Sorry
I’ve been gone so long! I was going to spend this re-emergent blog talking
about bullying and how it can affect a whole family to the point where other
activities (like blogging) become just too much—and I will—but there’s
something I’d like to discuss first. We parents need to have a little powwow
about politics.
I’m
not going to try to change anyone’s mind about what they believe or whom they
admire or how they’re going to vote. Frankly, I’ve met very few people who ever
changed their mind after a rousing debate with a proponent from the “other
side.” My concern, parent to parent, is about what we’re teaching our kids
about how to process political disagreement and how to respond to people whose
beliefs are different from theirs.
I’m
not really even advocating open-mindedness, to be honest. (I know that sounds odd, but hear me out.) While we do tend to
think of open-mindedness as a positive trait, my own mind—while progressive—is actually
pretty rigid. My beliefs about human rights and gay marriage and global warming
and foreign wars are evolving, certainly, but they are set enough that I can’t
honestly say I’d be open to changing my mind about them after hearing from
someone who believes differently. What is open, though, is my heart. I believe
that most people in the world, regardless of their politics, want many of the
same basic things, and that we can agree to be gentle in our disagreements
about the details. Passive? No. Yielding in our beliefs? No. But respectful? I
think we can do that.
This
week, a teenage girl from Ohio found herself in a media whirlwind after she
tweeted, “Someone needs to assassinate Obama… like ASAP”—followed by a hashtag
dripping with expletives. That impulsively hateful declaration resulted in
consequences the young lady probably never even remotely considered. She is being investigated
by the Secret Service and may face federal charges for threatening the
president. Even though she is still a couple of years shy of being old enough
to vote, her momentary lapse in judgment was actually a pretty big deal. I
wonder what lesson she will take away from the experience. Will her parents sit
with her and talk about how to appropriately share political frustration? Will
the family discuss limits to protected speech and positive ways to channel a
desire for change in the world? Or will they hold the investigation as further
proof that their disdain for the current administration is well founded? Will
they deepen the hatred that gave rise to this unfortunate public misstep, or
will they look inward for places to begin making changes?
It’s
not surprising when impressionable young people spew vitriolic insults when
that is what they are fed—by their parents, by the media, and by their own
political representatives. Do we, as parents, want to raise a generation of
children who believe the only effective way to argue is to spew insults and
eviscerate the other side? Facebook and Twitter are full of political venom
these days, and not just from hotheaded teens. It’s all about Us versus Them
and how awful The Other Guy is, leaving us needing to remind ourselves that The Other Guy is actually a dear friend or colleague or former classmate.
What
can we do to re-set the tone of the public discourse? How can we, as parents
and senior members of the society, best guide our children to be respectful and involved citizens? What do you think? Please add your (respectful) comments below.
(When
we’ve got the kids on the right track, maybe some of us could get started on
the grown-ups.)
